We are praying and fasting for Fundiswa today. When we visit her humble home, although she is bedridden and can’t let us in herself, she still greets us with a cheerful smile, and bright eyes. But not last week, she welcomed her friend’s with weeping, sobs of discouragement. She has been bedridden with AIDS for almost a year and a half now. After she left her husband, who tried to kill her, he has sent curse after curse upon her to be sure that she dies. He is a witch doctor. This is why her disabilities are medically unexplainable and came upon her virtually overnight, reflecting very little similarity to the normal downward spiral of HIV/AIDS.
Last year a short term missions team from Oklahoma prayed over her and worshipped Jesus around her house for days at a time, interceding for her healing. It was just after this that her chest xrays showed that TB was no where to be found! Fundiswa gave her life to Jesus, and she was carried to Bible study in a Masi home every week. Shortly after, she was baptized in my neighbor’s swimming pool. In the arms of a brother, she went down and came up; the wetsuit she wore looked like a loose trash bag on her emaciated frame. Yet, she gave praise to her Father in heaven and her mother watched with curiosity and conflict.
Her mother Sipho, is a kind, Xhosa woman and she cares for Fundiswa around the clock. She is also the main caregiver to Fundiswa’s two year old, who has the most ridiculously huge cheeks you have every seen, coupled with two scowling eyes of mistrust towards all white people who come near. She is in our Vulnerable Children program now, as neither Sipho nor Fundiswa are able to work because of the sickness. Sipho was used to giving Fundiswa potions from sangomas all her life. She fell prey to this common deception, not realizing that while it cost her all the money she had, it never healed, only making her symptoms worse. Sipho was still reluctant to trust Jesus only for the cure, and not include prayers to her ancestors. Knowing Jesus was on the war path for goodness, truth, and a display of His power alone, we knew it wouldn’t be long before the enemy’s door to this household was slammed shut. Fundiswa’s life depended on it.
Sipho, began to have dreams regularly that began to come true. One such time, we were on Holy Spirit lead “treasure hunt”, where He gave us many clues to lead us to the ones He was pursuing that day. Two of our clues were, “Right leg, from the knee down” and “McDonalds.” One of us remembered how Fundiswa used to be the manager of the local McDonalds, before she got sick. So we went to her shack. It was then that I asked her what was the worst pain she was having, she said it was her right leg, from the knee down! We knew Jesus wanted to relieve her pain, then and there. After prayer, she was helped up and moved it, she said the pain was completely gone, and this was why she had not been able to practice walking and rebuild her muscle tone. Sipho then described how the night before she dreamed we would come in a white car (which we did) and that Angela would be healed.
Sipho soon chose to put her faith in Jesus only. Renouncing the ancestors for many Africans is like a Muslim renouncing faith in Muhammad. It is contrary to their entire cultural worldview and at times includes excommunication from their family. She too, wanted to follow in Jesus’ footsteps and be baptized. In faith, Fundiswa initiated updating her resume as her greatest dream was to walk and work again. We have stood fast with her in this dream, and even arranged for physical therapy in her home twice a week; she was given brand new, New Balance shoes to help. We have also brought many medical specialists in to try and crack her case. She began progressing, she began to have the strength to simply stand up, only for mere seconds at first, then she was taking steps, and then by herself with a walker.
My friend, Joe Hunich came to visit here and serve, he massaged her feet regularly and even borrowed my nail polish and painted her toe nails. This is what I picture Jesus doing in Masiphumelele, if he came for a visit. God began to bless them as a family, providing the sponsorship for monthly food and clothes through Vulnerable Children, and the government finally built them a small concrete house that they had been waiting for, for decades. Even though their toilet was stolen a couple times, while the house was being built, after prayer, the second thief actually returned it! They have even started a bible study in their own home, with their neighbors.
But to be honest, she hasn’t gotten much better physically in the last year, and now she has taken a turn for the worst, signs and doctor’s visits are pointing to a return of the TB, and she actually failed to go to her follow up appointment this week, because “she was feeling better.” …denial….its the first stage of grief. TB is often what many AIDS patient’s actually die from. As I poured out my requests to the Father today, I entered a near begging mode. My prayers took on a tone that has become so familiar to me. Having had severe health struggles this year personally, and knowing a fraction of what she must feel, laying impaired in a bed, day after day, my supplications grew so empathetic, so tearful.
As I drove home from Masi this evening, pleading for relief for Fundiswa, I asked the Father to breathe life on her dry bones, I realized the heart of my prayer was sorrow, not hope. My prayers for her provoked my own doubt, my own sorrow. I still live in a lot of pain daily and each day often feels like an olympic challenge of endurance. I think of my friend whose three year old son was just murdered, and died after much prayer for healing, and Ijust found out that another close friend and woman I have lead here, also has TB (and AIDS). One of my babies saved through Baby Safe almost died last weekend in our care, and was diagnosed with HIV today. His mom wept over him today.
I suppose I find myself a bit reluctant to get my hopes up very high for Fundiswa’s full recovery. We know Jesus heals sometimes, but when expectations soar and go unmet, when constant anticipation only creates constant disappointment ,one’s energy can get depleted. It can be very exhausting to hope.
If its not His plan to heal her again, then I want her precious heart to be released, to be feel at peace with saying goodbye, to know that death is not failure, that her faith raised her up and extended her life. Her faith opened the door to her mother’s and daughter’s immortality, that may have otherwise remained locked. We like to think of God as a the great pain reliever, the remover of stains, a shield against horror and while His character clearly loathes injustice, this I can be sure of , His constant aim is that He is glorified. This pursuit of His, will always trump his desire for us to be comfortable. And who are we to say how He will be glorified most.
Jesus’ life taught us that.
“Now My soul is troubled and distressed, and what shall I say? Father, save Me from this hour [of trial and agony]? But it was for this very purpose that I have come to this hour [that I might undergo it]. [Rather, I will say,] Father, glorify (honor and extol) Your [own] name! Then there came a voice out of heaven saying, I have already glorified it, and I will glorify it again. John 12:27-29
It was Jesus who also said, “As you go, heal the sick.” and ”these signs shall follow those who believe, you will lay hands on the sick and see them recover.” As I go, I will continue to lay hands on the sick; let us always error on the side of faith. Otherwise, miracles will pass us by and the one’s he plans to heal will not be relieved.
It is true though, hope deferred, really does make the heart sick.
I suppose us seekers will always long for His kingdom to come in its entirety. I suppose the depth of our longing actually reveals the measure of our hope. While this kingdom of God is in limbo between two realms, I guess we will continue to wait for it to come on earth as it is in heaven.
No pain, no weeping, no sickness, no mourning, no AIDS, no orphans, no violence, no hunger, no strife….
Sounds like heaven to me.
All of creation waits.
{ 0 comments }






































